Would the wind blow through the trees (2x’s) I would walk
陶喆 - 愛很簡單 Chinese songs would always have more meaning in their lyrics. I chose this because it can totally describe how I'm feeling. A special person told me this =) If only another chance, I would just do everything within my limits to make it so perfect trusting God to lead. If only another chance, I would just want to see you smile everyday and night cos it would just brighten the night as though it was daytime. If only another chance, I would want to spend the rest of my life with you. If only another chance, you touched my life so deeply and I want to thank you. If another chance, you made me a better person to be and brought me closer to God. If another chance, I wished I could just be with you every second. If another chance, I wish I could just be the right person for you. If another chance, if another chance, if another chance... if another chance was given.. but it would be so impossible. Save this broken heart God and the life is no longer in control by the person who lives but the control is in you. I still love you with all my heart, But no one understands.. It feels so much better after crying.. I would walk
Many nights we prayed In this time of fear I would walk
Big Daddy Weave - Word of God Speak I'm finding myself at a loss for words I would walk
I would walk
陶喆 - 流沙 并不是真的路过而已 I would walk
I would walk
Wednesday, went out with Edmund to do some admin stuff in the night and have dinner. We did some talking and I guess he's the only person that knows me inside out besides my parents and actually we have quite a number of things in common. Shall not elaborate on that but I was talking to him about somethings that i was facing. I do want God's will and I want to follow him closely and not wanting my needs. But the problem we do face are the wants to our desires, sometimes it becomes a hindrance to our growth with God. I pray that we can still hope for things but most importantly always want God's will first before anything. He knows you inside out better than anyone, even better than your parents. His will is always and will always be the best for you and you can be sure that he will be there for you through the tough times and the most depressing times. He has been with me, molding me, guiding me, holding me.. and i really feel His presence always around me wanting me to do better. Thank you Lord.
Thursday, went out with my cell-group leader and had dinner. Was also consulting him on some stuff and really had a good time understanding and chatting. Whenever i have problems or difficulties, i would find all the people who are more spiritually matured and have a better view on things, esp my parents. I didn't listen to them from the start and now i really regret not listening but its just a learning process and from now onwards, they would always be the first i would consult before doing anything. I love my family so much..
Friday, went to malaysia with caleb & gf, Edmund. We went to Johor to do some shopping and I was feeling rather HIGH because of the prices of the shoes and all. I was like wanting to many things but i didn't really change much so ended up buying 2 pairs of shoes and a T-Shirt. It is a worth while trip there and i really enjoy the fellowship with the people that i was with. I also actually consulted caleb & his gf on some things and they gave good advices which was similar to what my parents had said and what my cell-group leader have said. Edmund also gave quite a similar advice but in all, guess God was telling me that i should just do according to His will and pray for guidance.
Was doing my QT and found out its so hard to want God's will. If God wanted you to take a bitter pill in order to make you grow, would you take it? If it was 2 years down the road, i would have not listen and not want to take that bitter pill. But through the molding, i can see what God wants me to learn and i'm surprised that i'm yearning for His word more and more each day. And if you asked me that question now, i would confidently say I WILL cos i have no doubts about God's will and plans for me. I mean there are times that we would grow weary but pray that the Lord would renew our strength and faith in Him. We can always tell God about our wants and hopes but always remember to ask him for His will rather than ours. And also asking Him for blessings, guidance and strength. I pray that every step and decision i make everyday would be God's will and trusting Him.
Big Daddy Weave - Without You
From the album What I Was Made For
Of breathing in the dark
Where would be life’s spark
Without You
Would the birds ever sing
Could I touch the grass so green
Under this big sky so blue
Without You, without You
Chorus:
And the sun doesn’t shine
And my world stops spinnin’ round
Without You, without You
Tell me where else could I ever find
The peace that floods this heart of mine
Without You, without You
Who could fill, the emptiness inside
Who would ease the pain, in my broken heart
Who would come in and abide
Promise never to depart
Without You, without You
I can’t live without You
I don’t wanna try to
Live one more moment without You
500 miles;11:58 PM
忽然間發現自己 以深深愛上你 真的很簡單
愛的地暗天黑都已無所謂 是是非非無法決擇
沒有後悔 為愛日也去跟隨 那個瘋狂的人是我 喔~
I LOVE YOU 無法不愛你 BABY 說你也愛我
I LOVE YOU 永遠不願意 BABY 失去你
不可能更快樂 只要能在一起 做什麼都可以
雖然世界變個不停 用最真誠的心 讓愛變得簡單 (讓愛變得簡單)
I LOVE YOU 我一直在這裡 BABY 一直在愛你
I LOVE YOU ( YES I DO )
永遠都不放棄 這愛你的權利
如果你還有一些困惑 OH NO 請貼我的心傾聽
聽我說 愛你 ( YES I DO) 我愛你
500 miles;10:09 PM
Tuesday, woke up early in the morning work and i ended work about 8 plus and so pretty tired because had to run around to complete projects. My dad are getting a lot projects which are coming in fast and have to rush them to complete. Super super busy but in a sense that its money coming in too so I'm willing to do whatever to help my Dad in whatever i can.
Wednesday & Thursday, same as the other days but had a Bible Seminar at night which was held at Orchard Road Presbyterian Church. Its a wonderful church and i so wished my church has that building. Its speaker was David Jackman and he's a very good speaker. This event that i participated is called ProjectTimothy. I had went once last year and i found it very enriching so every year going for the seminar. This year it was about the Book of Isaiah and i learn a lot of new insights about the Book of Isaiah. Ivan and his gf, Edmund and me went for the talk and it was good because we could help each other if we did not understand. This are some pictures of the church.
Look at the LCD TV, so high-tech
The Hall looks very grand
Another picture of the sanctuary
Friday was a boring day, i worked the normal hours but it did have something different. My mother was suffering a spiritual breakdown so went home to talk to her. The family has a lot of financial problems and we are having a hard time paying the loans. But still keeping faith in God to continue to lead our family and the company. I talked to my mum about some versus in the Bible to help her. Actually after work i actually wanted to send Pei Wen home but i saw mum having some emotional and spiritual difficulties so i decided to go home with her. (Sorry wen..) I'm sure Pei Wen would understand my situation and i believe she would do the same if it was her. =)
Saturday which is today, went to East Coast with Pei Wen. Met at 11am and she wanted to post her application for SMU, so we went over to serangoon road SingPost but it was crowded so we decided to go Marine Parade to post her application. We took a bus down and went finding for the SingPost but it was moved to another side of Marine Parade and it took us quite some time to find it. Posted the letter and went to eat a little breakfast. We ate Zi Quay(Don't know the how to spell) and after that went to East Coast. We rent the inline skates and skated to Bedok Jetty and further. I fell down 2 times tho she said i could skate better, i was very clumsy really. Haha. Once i fall down myself but the another time i pulled her down too(So sorry wen, i shall make up to you alrights? Hee =D ) Then after we went back to return the skates and rented a double bike. Rode to the other side which was heading towards the CITY side. I really enjoyed her company and all. I'm thankful that God was in the midst in all this enjoyment and i prayed for a good weather and he really did give a good weather, too good actually. Haha. The sun was so hot.. I got sunburnt but wen is worse, should have brought sun-tan lotion for you... I forgot. Sorry =D
But i really did enjoy her company and all, and i thank God for it. Its been a long time since both of us went out and have a really good time together and also getting to know each other better. I can see God is blooming this friendship, Thank you Lord. This are some pictures we took.
Posing Artistically on the background. Haha
Shy girl.. Look up! =)
At Bedok Jetty. Good view and very windy
Taken while resting at a shelter
Further down from Bedok Jetty.
(A helpful bangala took it for us =D)
This week I had this question stucked in my mind 'Does God want you to marry The right person or A right person'. To me, i've been asking around and the answers which are feed back to me are all different. Some people says A right person whereas some others say The right person. But what i do know is God is a very special God and he gives us choices to choose from. Now my concern is being the right person than finding the right person, becoming the kind of person someone else will consider the best possible choice is the only way to be prepared for finding my best choice. I hope to find out the answer when the time comes on what God wants which reminds me of this verse.
[Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.]
It is a reminder from God to always seeking what he wants rather than what we want, though we do have things that we want but always put God above everything first. My faith is God will always be my guide. And i thank God for Pei Wen =) and this song have been ringing in my head and its really a nice song.
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hope for a song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there’s much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could, whoa, yes
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
Its hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe somehow you will
You will when you believe
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seems like the summer bird
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now Im standing here
My hearts so full, I cant explain
Seeking faith and speakin’ words
I never thought Id say
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
Its hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe somehow you will
You will when you believe
They don't always happen when you ask
And its easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see the way, get through the rain
A small but still, resilient voice
Says hope is very near, oh
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
Its hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe somehow you will
Somehow you will
You will when you believe
[You will when you]
(You will when you believe)
[Oohoohooh]
[Oh...oh]
[When you believe]
[When you believe]
500 miles;11:47 PM
During Saturday early afternoon was meeting up with the guys to play soccer at a basketball court in yishun. The sun was like super hot and it heated up the concrete of the court. I was stupid enough not to bring shoes and wanted to play bare-footed as i prefer to have more feel and control for the ball. But the floor was too hot and had to run in the shaded parts where its not so hot. *Laughs* The shaded parts were like so lil and in the end still had to run up and support my teammates and then running back as quickly as i can to the shaded parts again. Couldn't take it so called one of my church mates to borrow shoes to play, then this malay bunch came up and asked if they could play. So we agreed and played with them, the pace was fast and after the game with them, all of us were like grasping for air. Though i was a player in my sec sch's soccer team but the pace was fast because of the small area and technique wise to have more precision control. But my team keep winning and i'm proud of them, they are edmund and weili. Edmund and I played soccer from young tgt so we have this special communicate without talking to know when and where to pass the ball. Good eh? =D So after soccer when over to his house and bathed, changed and walked to church. At night was the pianist and played for 2 hrs cause it was prayer and worship night. But i did enjoy playing the piano and helping to keep the mood of the worship going and it ended well.
Sunday woke up at 7 to prepare for church and all, made morning prayer alone so as to keep my mind focus on God(which i do that everyday not only on sundays k? lol) I guess it did help me get through the day well. Choir practiced new songs which i could easily sight-read though some mistakes but played averagely well. After choir went over to edmund's house to change up to jogging attire. My teacher, Edmund and me went Upper Pierce to jog which calculated 5 plus km. It was a good jog cos it freshen me up. Then during the night had dinner at edmund's place and after that asked both our parents to meet up cos i was too lazy to take bus home myself and we met up to eat durian. Gosh, it was soooo good but expensive. 5 durian cost us 55 plus a bunch of mangosteen totalled up to 65 bucks. Super ex..
Monday was waiting for Pei Wen to knock off from work cos she said she could leave half way. But the weather was quite bad and ended up going to toa payoh to do her things and then have my lunch. Borrowed a book which had Advanced Macromedia Flash Programming and she borrowed 3 other books and headed home. During evening went out with edmund to east coast for his CCA bbq. Then after that headed home at 10pm, reached home at about 1130. Did QT and reflection and slept.
I was talking to edmund about something and he too was facing quite a same problem as me. Guess both of us can't let go of the ppl who are special in our lifes and all. And was talking about the right feeling for that special person. Sometimes our feelings are being confused by the Devil. Sometimes when we feel that its the right person, it may not be the right person because the Bible has stated that, the world is controlled by the Devil and even us christians are tempted by the Devil. So we should not jump to conclusions straight away when the feeling is right, we should pray asking God to help us guard our hearts and mind. And asking God to prepare us for our future partner and all. It is so important that we ourselves are prepared before we can lead a Godly relationship and to marriage. But the new fact about me is, I do want to get married and have children. I love children so much.. haha. I guess bringing up one would be a challenge and from my parents point of view, they always feel i'm a pain in the ass last time. *Laughs* Now i guess and i'm proud to say that i've matured so much and i'm also amazed how God molds a person into a better person. Trusting Him was never a wrong decision that's why i wanted to get baptize and do more for God, i was baptized on 25th December 2005. I've always made God the number 1 in my life and till now, no one could ever replace him, no one. Guess there's other more fact about myself which in time to know. Pray that God would help me guard my heart and mind. And i end off with a song which always helps me to keep my eyes on God.
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say
[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice
[CHORUS x2]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
500 miles;9:16 AM
Saturday 10th March, went out in the late morning to meet Pei Wen, Jaslin and Vincent to donate blood @Paya Lebar Kovan CC. In the end after going through the checkups, i was the only one who could donate blood. Pei Wen was underweight so could not donate(but at least it made her happy that she lost weight, Haha), Jaslin passed all test but the last which was.. The nurse couldn't find her veins on the arms(This was the funniest, maybe too much fats. LOL!! I'm kidding), Vincent just had a major surgery on the removal of his wisdom tooth so couldn't donate. So i was the only survival who passed all test and donated it. WooHoo.. And best was, it only took 5 mins for me to fill up the whole bag while the man beside me was like so slow... When i finished, his was only like 1/4 full. So after the donation we went off to eat lunch then headed off to the IT Fair held at Suntec. Was super super crowded which i didn't like but i enjoyed the company. During evening had dinner with my fellowship guys cos it was a guys' outing so we ate at Cafe Cartel(Plaza Singapura)
Sunday 11th March, was quite a busy day for me cos i was the pianist for the 2nd service and my parents were LATE so didn't go for the 1st service and i missed the sermon. =( Angry angry and they screwed up my timing cos i was suppose to practice with the elderly choir as they were performing a song on stage during the 2nd service. But i prayed to God and ask for forgiveness and wisdom so that things won't go wrong during the 2nd service. Actually i wasn't the pianist for this week 2nd service, someone fell sick so i replaced him and i only got the songs 20mins before 2nd service starts. But God heard my prayers and he made everything go well. Amen! Then after church had choir, ended abt 3 then when over to zheng rong chuan dao's church for practice. He asked me to help him out for a camp called Army Camp as pianist.
Mon, Tues & Wed had to work but morning i went over to the church in the morning, then to work and evening back to the church again. The church is Singapore Life Presbyterian. So ya, so busy running here and there. Tuesday night after playing the piano rushed off to meet edmund and church frens for dinner at bugis. Had steamboat for dinner and from 8, we ate till 11. Amazing right. *Laughs* I forgot to take some photos cos weili a hard time eating the chilli side of the steamboat. LOL. He couldn't eat chilli which i just found out.
And i did some soul searching and reflection..
I found out that i still can't get over this special girl. She means like the whole world to me but reality is, she said i wasn't the right one for her. So i'm trying to let go and move on. Move on yes, in a sense that i still go on working and doing my stuff. But once in a while, the feeling of missing her and thinking of her kicks in. I think its some kinda of spiritual warfare that i'm facing so i prayed to God, guard my heart and my mind. In a while, everything seemed fine, but few days later it kicks in again. I guess i'm the type which doesn't get over someone that easily, and probably this would take longer than it seems. Everyday surrendering to God asking him to take control of my life as the Potter. God, i really can't do this on my own and i really need you. Take my hands and hold me close to where your heart is. I wrote this song when i was depressed to help me to continue to look upon God and asking him for forgiveness.
[Hold me close to You]
Whenever i was down,
You never let me down.
You took me by the hands,
and wipe away my tears.
You looked at me and said,
I love you everyday.
Like how i sent my son,
to die for you instead.
So I will..
Praise you Lord,
This is my promise to you.
You're always there for me,
When things aren't going right.
And I say..
Thank you Lord,
For never letting me down.
I must have faith in you,
You're the only one that's true,
Hold me close to you.
To be honest, I actually still love her so much but I'll trust God now to guide me and lead me in his kingdom and his righteous. And i will never doubt God's beautiful plan for me. Like she told me once, FAITH is just a 5 letter's word yet it is so big, i can do so much if i believed. And yes, i have faith in God cos he knows me best. Thank you Lord, this song is my offering to you. May it be pleasant to you and to everyone.
500 miles;1:34 PM
也不是真的不会想你
全都不是真的是骗自己
其实还爱你爱着你
我以为我早想清楚不由自主恍恍惚惚
又走回头路再看一眼有过的幸福
爱情好像流沙我不挣扎
随它去吧我不害怕
爱情好像流沙心里的牵挂
不愿放下 oh baby 让我这样吧
爱情好像流沙我不说话
等待黑暗让泪能流下
爱情好像流沙明知该躲它
无法自拔 oh baby 是我太傻
是一再的做一再的错不由我
我一步一步一步一步慢慢走向流沙
Lord, help me to guard my heart and mind well. Help me to do things according to your will, not mine. Give me strength to overcome all obstacles and hurt, and giving me a forgiving heart to forgive those who has hurt me like how you forgave us when we blamed you for everything that didn't work our way. Lord, i pray that you'll bless those who have brought deep impact in my life with wisdom of Solomon's, heart of David's & the faith of Job's. Lord, help me heal the hurt and the deep scar in my heart. Heal the scar so it will be as smooth as silk, flawlessly so that i maybe able to open up again.
500 miles;11:49 PM
Sunday, was the pianist for service and it was BAD....... real bad cos the song leader screwed up and i took all the blame. The pastor asked me to PRACTICE HARDER and i was so pissed off but i still kept my cool and prayed to God for forgiveness and patience. Guess i just can't have that person as my song leader cos he's quite bad in song leading and quite tone deaf. Haha.. But not to criticize him cos he has the heart to serve so i hasn't criticize him. After i had bible study with my mentor and we shared on a topic. It was "Is it hard to be a good christian", i guess it is quite hard to be a very very good one because of the society and we do sometimes conform. But through God's grace and the death of Jesus, we are saved. So what we should do is just read his words and in every decision making, put God as priority. Fearing the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Wisdom comes when we fear God and we ask for his guidance. And after church, was super super tired so went home and sleep.
Monday, which is today. I went out with my friends from SuperTeen Camp to catch up and update on our lifes. We went to Jurong East Swimming Complex to play and was quite tired, after we ate KFC for lunch cum dinner. After went home and change straight into my jogging attire and went out for jog. I feel quite accomplished cos i did 4.8km in 23mins and i feel i would want do better than the timing. Every week i would beat my old timing and make new records, i'm training now because when i go into Army in a year's time, it won't be that tough and i want to get GOLD for my NAPFA so i would have a higher chance to get into OCS. I guess all this would also depend on what God wants me to do and his plans for me. I always had faith in Him cos he never let me down. I'm now trying to apply for conducting course so i can help out during choir when the instructors are busy and my passion actually is still in music. It keeps me cool and it keeps me happy. Without music, my life would be sure a bore. *Laughs* I guess that's all for now and i continue to surrender and put my faith in God for i know he'll always provide the best for me. =)
Lord, lead & guide me,
For i entrust my life to you.
For i know i am weak,
and without you i'm nothing.
I lift my life into your hands,
For your plans are always the best.
500 miles;10:04 PM